9 Tell-Tale Signs to Look For
Are you someone who often puts other people’s needs before your own? Do you feel a strong urge to please everyone around you, regardless of the potential cost to yourself? If so, chances are that you may have “people-pleasing” tendencies. Or, be a total “people pleaser”.
People pleasing is a behavior which involves trying too hard to make others like and accept you by doing whatever is necessary to make them happy or fulfilled.
Often these individuals never really take care of their own wants and needs in order to keep those around them appeased. While it can be an admirable trait sometimes, it can become overwhelming if allowed to spiral out of control. Read ahead to learn 9 tell-tale signs that might suggest that, instead of being simply nice, you are actually caught up in a cycle of people-pleasing behavior!
You often over-commit or take on too much in order to please others
As a kind and caring individual, you have a natural tendency to want to please everyone around you. This is a truly admirable quality, but it can come with a downside if you’re not careful. It’s all too easy to take on more than you can handle, simply because you don’t want to let anyone down. Unfortunately, this can lead to feelings of stress, anxiety, and burnout in the long run. The key to finding balance lies in learning to say “no” when necessary and valuing your own needs just as much as you value those of others. Remember, taking care of yourself is not selfish — it’s essential to your own well-being and happiness.
You constantly sacrifice your own time and energy for the sake of others
Do you ever find yourself putting others before yourself? Maybe it’s helping a coworker with a project, or always being the one to make plans with friends. Whatever the case may be, it’s clear that you constantly sacrifice your own time and energy for the sake of others. While it’s great to be selfless and caring, it’s important to remember to take care of yourself too. Remember that it’s not selfish to prioritize your own needs and wants, and don’t hesitate to set boundaries when necessary.
You shy away from confrontation and go along with what other people want
Have you ever found yourself agreeing with someone, even though you don’t necessarily feel the same way? Or perhaps avoiding a difficult conversation for fear of conflict? If so, you’re not alone. Many people struggle with confrontation and often choose to go along with what others want, rather than voicing their own opinions or feelings. While this may seem like an easy way to avoid conflict, it can negatively affect your relationships and personal well-being.
Learning how to assert yourself and speak up can be a challenging but ultimately rewarding process.
So don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself and what you believe in — it’s a crucial part of developing healthy relationships and a strong sense of self.
You feel guilty when you say ‘no’ to someone or can’t help them out
Saying ‘no’ can be one of the hardest things to do, especially when it’s to someone we care about. It’s common to feel guilty for not being able to help someone out or for having other priorities. However, it’s important to remember that we can’t always be everything to everyone. It’s okay to prioritize our own needs and recognize our own limitations. Setting boundaries and practicing saying ‘no’ can actually lead to healthier relationships and better self-care. It’s not always about saying ‘yes’ to others but saying ‘yes’ to ourselves.
Or, you say ‘yes’ to things you don’t really want to do, then regret it later.
We’ve all been there before — saying “yes” to something we don’t really want to do, only to regret it later. It’s easy to get caught up in the moment or feel pressure to please others, but in the end, it can leave us feeling drained and unfulfilled. Learning how to say “no” can be a challenge, but it’s an important skill to have. By setting boundaries and prioritizing our own needs, we can avoid saying “yes” out of guilt or obligation. It’s okay to put yourself first and say “no” when you need to — your mental health and well-being will thank you.
You find yourself trying hard to make other people happy and feel like it’s your responsibility
It’s not uncommon to want to bring a smile to someone’s face or make their day a little bit brighter. However, when that desire becomes a constant burden, it can start to feel overwhelming. It’s important to remember that it’s not solely your responsibility to keep everyone around you happy. While it’s a lovely gesture to try and spread joy, it’s crucial to prioritize your own well-being too. Making yourself available for others is not a requirement and it’s okay to set boundaries. It’s essential to take care of yourself first, so you can be the best version of yourself for those around you.
You are constantly worried about how you’re perceived by others and find yourself changing your opinion or behavior to fit in
Social anxiety can be a real struggle. Worrying about how others perceive you can be all-consuming and can make it challenging to feel comfortable being yourself. It’s not uncommon to feel the need to change your opinion or behavior to fit in with a group of people, but it’s essential to remember that being true to yourself is so much more important. It’s okay to have your own thoughts and ideas, and it’s okay if they don’t always align with everyone else’s. So take a deep breath, stand tall, and know that you are unique and fantastic just the way you are.
You repeatedly forgive people who refuse to change
Forgiveness is a powerful act of self-love and compassion towards others, but what happens when forgiveness turns into a repetitive cycle with someone who refuses to change? It can be draining to give someone multiple chances to mend their ways, only to be let down time and time again. While it’s important to have empathy and understanding for others, we must also value our own well-being and set boundaries. Holding on to anger or resentment is not the answer, but neither is enabling toxic behavior. It’s important to recognize when it’s time to move on and surround ourselves with positive influences. Remember, forgiving someone doesn’t mean you have to tolerate their negative impact on your life.
You are others’ support system and not your own
As human beings, we often dedicate a lot of time and energy to supporting those around us. Whether it’s listening to a friend vent about their struggles, helping a loved one through a difficult situation, or simply being a shoulder to cry on, we instinctively want to be there for others. While this empathy and compassion is admirable, it’s important that we don’t forget to take care of ourselves in the process. It’s easy to get caught up in the needs of others, but neglecting our own emotional and mental well-being can lead to burnout and exhaustion. Remember to prioritize self-care and seek out support from others when you need it. After all, we can’t be a support system for anyone else if we’re not taking care of ourselves first.
People pleasing can be difficult to overcome, as it often becomes a habit over time. However, it is important to recognize the signs that you’re people-pleasing in order to learn how to prioritize your own needs and boundaries. Taking the time during mindful moments each day can help us realize any patterns we might have that involve people pleasing. Additionally, actively taking action through journalling or talking with close friends about your feelings are great ways to start breaking down the habit of people-pleasing. With dedication and perseverance, you’ll be able to develop healthy relationships with yourself and others. Your own self-care and love should always come first!
